D&C 9:7-9

7. Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.

8. But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

9. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given you from me.


Why is it when you find yourself with a "stupor of thought" that it takes so long to realize that it is the Lord with whom you should be asking for help?

And then when you recieve an answer you find yourself "wrestling" with Him about it?

This is what I have found myself doing over the last several days.


Let me explain. A month or so ago, my dad asked if we, Dan and I, would like to go on a backpacking trip up in the Wind Rivers area over Labor Day weekend. Of course our immediate answer was YES! I have been wanting to go on one of these trips for such a long time. It had seemed that the last 3 times my dad has done one of these, I was either pregnant or nursing and could not go. So being that I am "FREE" at the moment, I was NOT going to miss this one. We then worked really hard to work out Dan's school schedule and commitments. After working that out, we were all set and EXCITED! Then, my family went to Bear Lake (which I am still working on the post for that one-lots of pictures) where we had the traditional TUBE WARS !Unfortunately, Dan partially tore his right MCL during this event and therefore felt it would not be smart for him to hike up very rugged terrain carrying a 40 lb pack.

I then had a decision to make. Do I stay or do I go? After little thought, it seemed a no brainer.

I WAS NOT GOING TO MISS THIS. I WAS GOING. So I asked my dad if I could be his tent buddy and began gathering my gear. Of course I was sad that Dan could not share this experience with me, but I was excited to hang with my dad and siblings. So at the beginning of this week I began to suddenly not feel so excited about the whole thing. Weird. I wonder why. I continued getting my pack ready. Then last night after I finalized my pack and even hiked up and down the stairs a few times to make sure I could carry the darn thing, I broke down. I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of confusion about this trip.

Was it because Dan couldn't come? Maybe. So I talked to Dan about the whole thing again to make sure he was still good with me going without him. Yes. He was fine with it. He was happy I could go.

Was I worried about my safety? No. I knew that of all people to backpack with my dad is the most prepared and very experienced in this.

Was I nervous that I couldn't do it? No. I work out every stinkin' morning! Sure it might be hard, but I knew I could do it. So that wasn't it either. GEEZ!

Then why on earth was I so distraught, with such a turmultuous feeling inside?

Then this scripture came into my mind. D&C 9:7-9. I was definately having a "stupor of thought". So I prayed that I might know why I was feeling this way.

I then went to bed feeling like I needed to decide whether or not I should be going on this trip. When I woke, I prayed again. I was beginning to feel that I should NOT go. But WHY? Why should I give this up?

I then thought of the scripture in Proverbs 3:5-6.

5.Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6. In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Throughout the day I felt more confident with the decision to stay home. When I finally accepted that as the answer, I was amazed as the relief I felt.

I was worried to call and tell my dad. I felt bad cancelling on him just 2 days before leaving. I felt like I would be letting him down. I still did not know why I couldn't go, and I hoped he would understand. Well, when I called and told him, he said he respected my decision but I would be missed. Thanks Dad for understanding.

I still do not know why I shouldn't go. I may NEVER KNOW why, but I do know I feel better and I have learned a valuable lesson in listening.

So now I just have to unload my pack. :)

Just another thought showing that the Lord is in charge and always keeps His promises...

If you actually read all of this, thanks for letting me share.

And.... I am grateful I will get to see so many of you (Dan's family) that are coming out this way over the weekend.