Midnight Snowshoes

This weekend I went with Kris and Kwint Kemp to their cabin in the Uintah's.  We had to snowshoe in dig out from the recent storms.  I had a really good time cross-country skiing, shooting Kris's arsenal of guns he has been collecting, and taking a midnight, moonlit, round-trip snowshoe hike up to a nearby lake (5 miles round trip).  When we got up the next morning, it had snowed over a foot of fresh powder which required us to dig each of the vehicles out.  We have been doing this little guys night for the last 4 years and I really look forward to it each year.  In the next couple of years, we will start bringing up our sons.

Tracen had another tough sports weekend, but I can tell that he is really enjoying playing and he is dedicated on improving his skill and fitness level.  He and Dee have been taking this squat and pushup challenge over the last several days.  It reminds me of when I was in sixth grade and started to really take physical fitness seriously.  I remember doing tons of pushups and situps every night.  Truth be told, some of the impetus for my exercising was to thwart genetics.  I wanted to do everything in my power to combat against inheriting the dreaded "Jacobs Pecs".  I think that I was partially successful.

Trev is unpredictable as always.  This week in a moment of love, he said "Dad is like my best friend".  My heart warmed.  I quickly asked him why I was, like, his best friend and he promptly told me, "I'm not yours friend.  I'm NOT!"  He has discovered what our other children already know... I am not funny.  He has told me multiple times this week "...Top it Dad.  Yours is not funny".  Whereas I might not be funny, I find his telling me this hilarious.  The other thing I find funny is when he declares that he doesn't need to use the bathroom.  This comment means that he is on the verge of wetting his pants.  Or the bathroom floor.  Or both.

So I had a biometrics screening last week.  Everything panned out ok, except for the part when in came to my BMI (body mass index).  I was told that I was in the "obese" category.  In fact, I was only 2 points away from being morbidly so.  It looks like I may need to cut back on our weekly Krispy Kreme outings.

Tyler and Tracen are working on their Thomas S. Monson scouting award.  It is an award that they will only offer until March and it will never be offered again.  One of the requirements is to learn the 13th article of faith.  We printed it, framed it, and placed it on our countertop.  Tracen taught it to himself over a plate of quesadillas one night.  I was wondering why he kept looking up and then staring off into space.  Tyler surprised us both by a couple of mornings later cling down and reciting it perfectly at breakfast time.  I guess he had had a bad dream and had read it to himself "about 50 times" to help him get his mind off of the dream.  It looks like they will both receive the award at the upcoming blue and gold banquet.

We are loving early out church.  It is nice to spend more time in the afternoon together.  I know that Dee likes getting all of her meetings done earlier.

Have a nice week.  

Dan

Bean Bag Champ

February 4, 2014

I have so very little material of which I can brag about myself.  I am mediocre at just about everything I do.  My most distinguishing trait is also one that I am a little embarrassed to share (I have a superflous nipple) so when I can actually find bragging rights to something, I had best talk myself up while I am at the top of my game.  I excell at the game of "Cornhole".   While I absolutely loathe the name of the game, it would appear that I dominate at it as evidenced by my utter domination of the Stratford clan last Friday.  Just so there is no mistake here, the game consists of standing at about a 20ft distance and pitching bean bags onto a board that is on an incline.  There is a small hole cut on the board and if your beanbag goes through the hole, you get points, if  your bag slightly overlaps the hole, you get points.  If your bag remains on the board, you get points.  Well I got more points (with a little help from Dee) and I am the current champion of the game.  All Hail "Cornholius" (as I have just now named myself)!  Thanks to the Stratfords for a fun filled Friday evening.  And extra thanks to Tracen who babysat for 5 hours without killing off any of his siblings.

We semi-watched the Super-fiasco on Sunday at Mom and Dad's house.  There was nothing semi about the sheer number of calories consumed however.  The two who were most interested in the game, and who subsequently talked the most trash, were Sammy and Tracen.  I was the only Bronco supporter in the house and I am just glad that I didn't give more of a hoot than I did.  I still bet (and lost) a quarter to Sammy over the whole thing.  If Sammy becomes a "bookie" it was his Uncle Dan that gave him a start down that path.

Tracen has really taken a shine to football over the last 3 weeks as he is currently a football card collector / trader / swindler.  He constatly pumps me for information on former and current players.  My knowledge of professional football has been stretched to the breaking point.  I find that I don't really care if Joe Montana or Aaron Rodgers is a better quarterback.  I am just goiing to tell him that Steve Young was the best player of all time from here on out and that pretty much every other player before or since him stinks and that they aren't worth collecting.

Being the first man of the ward, I have found that when I come home to a major food production, when the whole house smells divine, and when it would appear to be a mini-thanksgving in the making... that it's not for me.  There have actually been a couple of times when all that is left of what smells to have been a phenomenal meal, is just that... a smell.  Some lucky family got the meal hook-up tonight!  That lucky family would not be the Jacobs (actually that is not true, we did get some of the "reject" rolls).

Deanne and I have decided that the terrible two's have nothing up on the 3's.  Trev has mutiple personalities.  It isn't this fact alone that scares me, it is how quickly he can morph from one to the other.  Nobody should be allowed to switch from demon to angel and back to devil's spawn as rapidly as he does.  Even though it can be challenging, I am really enjoying him at this stage, half of the time.

We have a full week of scouts, basketball, soccer practice, piano, homework and Relief Society (just Dee) on tap.  I was glad to be able to squeeze in a line or two.  I hope to give a better effort this next week.  Ta Ta for now!

Dan

Bean Bag Champ....In My Defense

While I was away at my presidency meeting last night, Dan had time to sit down and write this lovely family email.  While I am truly grateful that he writes these emails as a little record for our family, I feel the need to make a few corrections in my defense.  Hmm...where to begin....how about " Mr. Bean Bag Champ" and " All Hail Cornholius" and may I quote...."with a little help from Dee"?  Really? 

 My dearest Daniel, may I remind you that you are nothing without me.  It is simply impossible for you to win this game, any game, without me.  What ever happened to "Co-Winners"?  Isn't that what you are always begging for when I win and you lose?  Ponder that my love.  Now onto the you "being the first man of the ward... and coming home to a major food production, when the whole house smells divine, and when it would appear to be a mini-thanksgving in the making"... that it's not for you?  That has only happend ONE TIME!  And that was because it was a last minute need and I only had enough ingredients for one meal, so the other family got our dinner.  Cut me some slack....our Pizza dinner was tasty that night too! So...while this meal was also a last minute need, I made double everything!!  It took me a total of 4 hours slaving in the kitchen.....making it all from scratch...and you enjoyed every last bite....NOT just a few "reject rolls".  

So my dear, while you may think you have very little to brag about, I happen to think you are AMAZING!! Just don't forget who has your back!  We will always be "Co-Winners"!

Love you, 

Dee

Thanks for reading....I feel so much better!

World's Best Corn-Dogs make "my hangry"

All,

No, you did not read my title line incorrectly.  It is a mash up of several different happenings over this last week.  Let me explain, no that will take too long, let me sum up.

Trev, up until very recently would scold us when we were doing something that he didn't like with the words " ...stop (insert behavior he finds annoying), that makes my hangry."  Of course his cute request only increased the actions he thought were annoying just so his brothers, and maybe sometimes his father, could hear him say that over and over again. Now being hangry is nothing to mess around with.  I get there nearly every day right before lunch.  Which brings me to the next portion of my title: corndogs.

At work there has been a flyer posted on nearly every wall advertising that the "World's best Corndog" truck would be paying us a visit.  Oh how that flyer was mocked.  By me.  By my coworkers.  Many of us feigned mock excitement and there was even one person who created a "countdown" chain for this lunch event.  Well, I was the first person to see the truck arrive, and during a moment of extreme "hangryness" may or may not have been the first person in line for the world's best corndog.  I may or may not have consumed that nearly foot long hotdog battered and fried to celestial perfection.  I may or may not have kicked off a frenzy in my office that resulted in the corndog truck running out of product long before the time they were slotted to leave.  I most certainly paid a very high gastro-intestinal price.  As it turns out, the World's best Corndog, produces the World's worst gas.  Who would have thunk it?

Corndogs have a double meaning our home.  There is the food version, which as has been mentioned, can be a culinary delight, and then there is the kind that has now earned a ban in our household.  I don't know when the word "corndog" took on the meaning of kneeing your brother in the behind, but around here that is its most popular definition.  Well Tracen took it upon himself to use this action every time his brothers, in his words "make my hangry".  He was doling out this punishment by the baker's dozen.  So coincidentally, (or was it?) the very week I consumed the world's best corndog, I also banned all corndogs from my house.  Because, indeed, corndogs were beginning to make my hangry!

We took the boys skiing this week.  The slopes were busy and the cost was astronomical but the skiing was fun.  Tate has mastered the art of bombing the bunny hill.  I tried really hard to get him to turn now and again, but he told me his legs wouldn't obey his mind.  He was popping out of his skis pretty easy, so I thought I knew how to remedy that problem.  After a particularly frustrating bit where he couldn't get back into his skis, and he was whining pretty good about it, I went over and started whacking the bottom of his boot with my pole to get the snow off of them.  I guess I was over-zealous to get the snow off, missed his boot and whacked him pretty hard up the side of his head.  Though it was an accident, I did see an immediate improvement in his attitude and he no longer asked me to help him get his skis on.  

The boys are getting stir crazy.  The weather, though not so bad, has left ice all over the yard making it impossible to play outside for any length of time.  We have had our fill of screen time that's for sure and I am getting really tired of hearing them tell me that there is nothing to do.  We have begun to tell them that this particular phrase will earn them plenty of chores to do.

Tracen and Tyler got served a little humble pie in the sports category this week.  I don't really care if my kids are the best on their team or really what their skill level is, the only thing I could really hope for is that they give it their all and that the enjoy themselves.  Apparently, at least for Tracen, having fun and winning are so closely related that it is hard to have one without the other.  On the way home from his soccer thumping, I gave him some fatherly advice that I am sure was not very well-received at the moment it was delivered.  That's ok.  I am sure that he will either appreciate it in the years to come, or pay it forward to his son.

So, happy birthday last week to Rebecca, my niece on a mission, and Janelle my mom-in-law this week.  We hope to hear from you soon.

Dan

Early Morning Pork

January 19, 2014

Today I woke up at 5 am, not unusual, but I was extra excited to do so as  I knew it was my free day (the one day a week I allow myself to eat treats) and I had a hot date with a box of Krispy Kreme donuts that I had squirrled away the day before in the pantry.  30 seconds and 3 donuts later, I settled in to getting everything ready for our Sunday.  I got a pork roast in the crockpot, made the sauce for the roast, made some cinnamon rolls (Pillsbury), emptied the garbages, emptied the dishwasher, put out a plate and donut for Dee, told her to hurry up about 20 times, forced her to eat said donut before she left for her 7:00 am meeting (to keep me from eating it), and got all the boys curch clothes out... all before 6:50 am.  I was in the groove!  I think that I will get a box of donuts at the ready for every Sunday from here on out.  

We celebrated Mom and Dad's brithdays this month by going to Sizzler, Dad's choice.  Though the company was good, the service was laughable and the food was tolerable.  Had it not been the quality of those in our party, I would have chalked the meal up as a mini-disaster.  Tracen and Sammy watched the herd at Bruce and Christy's house and we were pleasantly surprised that everything was intact and that no major fights had broken out while we were gone.  I think that we might finally be getting to the stage where we can comfortably leave our children without paying for a babysitter.  Oh, how I have longed for these days.

Sherman  (Dee's grandfather) gave us a bit of a scare this week, but today when I got him up, he appeared to be both in good spirits and clearer in his mind than earlier in the week.  That man is a fighter.  I am impressed by his resilience and attitude for the hand he has been dealt.  As he likes to put it though, "At least I didn't have to push a handcart and sleep outside in the cold."  I would say that those things might be the only physical hardships he has not had to endure. 

Tracen and Tyler both had 2 games of b-ball this week and both of them played very well.  Dee took Tate skiing for a half day and he did very well aslo.  We had a pack meeting where Tracen and Tyler both earned several awards.  Tomorrow, we are planning taking the boys skiing again for at least a half day.  It should be fun, though I wish the snow were better.

It looks like Mom and Dad will start to move later on this week.  Dad has promised that he will let me and the boys help them do so (thanks Dad).  As mentioned before, it will sure be nice to go over to his place to watch BYU games with him only being 10 minutes away.  We look forward to having you so close.

I hope this email finds you all well.  For the record, I wish all of you January birthdays (like 50 family members) a very Happy Birthday, in particular my Dad, and Becca who have had, or will have them in the next couple of days.

Love,

Dan

Midnight Hack

January 12, 2014

All,

The middle of this week Tate had a resurgence of a cough that seems to have been lingering with him to varying degrees for the past couple of months.  He flung himself on our bed sometime close to midnight complaining of his ailment and coughing up a storm.  Tate has always had a very distinct cough.  Even when he was an infant a couple of weeks old, he got this cough that would leave him gagging when he really gets it going.  Nothing has changed.  I volunteered to come downstairs with him to provide what little comfort I could.  I got him a drink of water, gave him some homeopathic "snake oil" (ingredients: dark honey, stew nettle, linamint, and balm of Gilead) and made him as comfy as I could on the couch next to our fireplace.

I sat there in a stupor and felt bad for him as he had a particularly bad coughing fit and wondered what in the world could be done.  I ended up asking him if he would like me to say a prayer for him, which he agreed to let me do.  It was a simple and sincere prayer but when it was done, I felt like there was more to be said.  I wanted to make sure that I wasn't praying for his comfort just so I could get back to sleep (though truth be told that was my initial motivation) so I prayed again, this time silently.  Instead of asking for much, other than that I could make him as comfortable as possible, I thanked God for the time I had to spend with Tate.  I thanked HIm that I got to be his parent and that I had the opportunity to help him.  I thanked him for the love I felt for my son.  It was surprising to me how I felt at that moment.  I truly felt glad.  Not that I was awake.  Not that my son was sick, but that I was able to be there for him.  I felt love for this miserable little man and at that time I was happy to be by his side in the middle of the night when he needed me.  Blessedly, he was able to fall asleep pretty quickly and both of us slept well the remainder of the night.

The rest of our kids have had similar ailments this week, but most of them now are on the mend and thankfully, Dee and I seemed to have dodged the bullet thus far.  Knocking on wood over here.  Actually, it's a laminate countertop.  I hope that is adequate enough to ensure good Karma.

Trev hates his pants.  I don't know why.  I don't remember having any ill feelings for my trousers when I was a lad, but he really gets mad at his.  Today after Church his carpenter pants really did something to tick him off.  He tore at them in a fury until they were off and in his hands and then he proceeded to pummel his pants rotten.  After their beating he threw them across the room.  I am not sure what he was saying.  I can still only understand about 75% of what comes out of his mouth anyway, but when his knickers anger him he becomes unintelligible.  In his rage his underwear worked down around his ankles and he tripped on them.  That seemed to snap him out of his moment.   

We drove up to see Mom and Dad Jacobs today to wish her a very late happy birthday.  They are mostly packed up and ready for their upcoming move.  We are very much so going to look forward to having them closer than they are currently.  They did off-load one of their paintings they had from when they lived in Italy the first time and they did say (FOR THE RECORD) that we could call dibs on the Rose Painting should they not find a place for it in their new home...  they also let me take Leah's painting of the chickens she did while she was in high school.  I think it was for me anyway, since I have an affinity for that type of bird, but if not, Leah, you are welcome to have it back.

As mentioned, Tracen and Tyler are playing basketball, but in addition to that, Tracen is playing "Futsal".  It is a form of indoor soccer.  For those of you who have never had a chance to see Tracen play, while he is not the speediest of players, his foot-skills are very developed and he is really fun to watch.  Tyler is playing very well in baskeball this year and if he were any sort of aggressive, he would really be a force.  It just isn't his style to be so, unless it it towards Tate or Tracen.

Well the boys are doing their best to injure each other in the family room and I am starting to feel like I either need to referee or jump in and remind them all who really is Alpha Male still in these parts.  I should be able to hold that title for at least the next 3 years... I hope.  Oh man, there went a picture!  Sorry, this party is officially over.  Time to be Big Bad Dad...

Love,

Dan

Remember When...

January 5, 2014

Hello Family,

Once upon a moon... many, many moons ago, the DanDee family used to send a periodic email.  To say we have fallen out of the habit would be a gross understatment to be sure, but we have decided that we would attempt to rekindle that habit again this year. Lucky you!  Unless you find this bit of news to be unlucky; I can't say that I blame you if those are your sentiments. Since I, this is Dan, seem to be the self-appointed spokesperson of this family, I will probably be the one to write this to you more often than not. 

So the holiday season has mercifully passed.  I say mercifully since I can truly echo the feelings of the Christmas tune "..and Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again..."  It isn't that we haven't had a great holiday season, our Christmas indeed Merry and bright (and white) but there is only so much Christmas ballyhoo one can ingest before indigestion sets in.  We were very happy to have spent time with many of you over the holiday season though.  It was nice to spend time with those who are dear to us (if not near).

We had a nice New Years eve by staying at home with just us this year.  We had Beer Rocks (pizza rolls) with Root Beer floats and Tracen's favorite kind of salad... iceberg lettuce.  Iceberg lettuce salad, if drowned in ranch dressing is palatable, but I must say that I have definately become a bit of a salad snob.  Give me kale!  Give  me spinach!  Give me lechuga! (actually that means lettuce in Spanish but I was clean out of names for the other leafy greens).  Thes rest of our evening was spent by our boys besting me at video games (curse you Mario Cart) and us watching "Ghost Busters" on Netflix (that movie is nearly 30 years old!).  When the appointed hour hit, everyone that was still awake (all but Trev) went outside on the front porch and made a racket.  The kids and Dee had their home-made noise makers going while I sang "Auld Lang Syne" at the top of my lungs.  FIrst of all, the top of my lungs is a lung or two above the top of most other people's lungs and secondly, I really only sang the first 6 words to the song and then screeched the tune for the rest.  Nobody really knows the words to the song anyway... I swear it is written in a different language anyhow.  I am sure that our drowsy neighbors appreciated the Jacobs band, and if they didn't, well then they are welcome to put their houses up for sale.

Deanne is nearly into her 4th year of being the RS President of our ward.  As I am sure you can imagine, she does a wonderful job.  Deanne is naturally warm, kind and caring.  I so often see her furiuosly texting with a sister in the ward dealing with some very real and heavy topics.  Being the first man of the ward (self imposed title of the RS Pres's husband) has its drawbacks for sure, but the one that is the hardest is seeing Deanne's heart get broken by the struggles of the Sisters in our ward.  The calling isn't all about that though, Deanne is so very often visiting others, having meetings or praying for the well-being of her beloved sisters.  She seems to enjoy it.

My calling of Ward Choir director turned out being more enjoyable than I expected it to.  I am no Mack Wilberg (Max?) but I put together a program of several songs that I condcucted, a narrative that was only mostly plagarized, and a couple of musical numbers that seemed to go very well.  It was gratifying to see it all come together and that at least a few people seemed to be touched by the message and music.  I have new-found respect for conductors everywhere.  Hopefully I didn't have too much of that goofy conductor booty-bounce going on while I was leading the choir.  I am not that advanced of a director yet.

Tracen and Tyler are both playing basketball and enjoying it.  I am enjoying watching them even if most games end up with baseball worthy scoring totals.  Tracen's game on Saturday had the robust score of 9-7...  He did nearly foul out in the first 5 minutes which made that period of his play rather interesting.  He really is a chip off of the old block in that regard.  I would bet, however, that Tyler will be taller than Tracen, and if he chooses to pursue B-ball that might stand him in good stead. 

Trev and Tate mostly stay home and enjoy/annoy each other.  Trev got a foam padded Thor's hammer for Christmas which is quickly becoming a WMD around here.  In fact,  I was innocently walking down the stairs today when Thor's hammer bounced off of my dome.  When I turned around to see who my attacker was, they were gone...  Did the hammer act of its own accord?? I think NOT!  

I can see that this email is becoming quite lengthy.  Before I sign off I would like to wish my Mother a very Happy Birthday (on the 1st) and my niece a warm congrats on her recent marriage to Spencer Fogelman in the Sacramento Temple.  We were sorry that we were unable to be around for either of those events.

Love to all,

Dan

Dan has started sending out an email each week to our family members, so for record keeping, I am going to copy them onto the blog here. Here are the last few weeks!