So now we are off to 1st grade! I figured it would feel about the same as Kindergarten, he'd just be gone longer during the day. Well, I was wrong.
I kept thinking there had to be so much more I should be doing to be prepared for the 1st day of school, yet... I did nothing and Tracen didn't seem worried one lick. We arrived at the school somewhat early ( I must have been anxious) and I had to keep reminding Tracen to PLEASE WAIT for me and his brothers. He was so excited. We found his classroom. I turned to take Tracen's hand to help him find his seat and show him who his teacher was only to find Tracen walking right in without any hesitation. He found a cubby for his backpack, said hello to his teacher, found his desk, and began talking to the other kids at his table. Not once, mind you, did he even look in my direction. I wasn't sure whether to feel proud or hurt. I mean I am glad he is so confident, but GEEZ! So I "casually" tapped him on the shoulder, "Hey Trace," he looked at me as if to say "What are you still doing here?" Me: "Uh- I am going now... have a great day!" Trace: "Yeah, Bye Mom." Me(under my breath): "I love you."
So when I said I thought it would feel like sending him to Kindergarten just for longer, I am now realizing how wrong I was. It is NOT like that at all.
I am bombarded with a slew of emotions. Pride, Amazement, EXTREME WORRY, curiosity, LOVE, hope.... I have had a major reality check that HE is losening the apron strings and I HAVE to let him. I have to let HIM be on his own to decide if what his friends are talking about or are doing is RIGHT or WRONG. I have to let him hear bad words, see not so great things, and learn about things I don't think he should be learning about. I HAVE TO!
I also HAVE TO HOPE that he remembers who he is, what he has learned about at home, how he should act, what he should stand up for, and most importantly that KNOWS he is LOVED by his family. I hope we can keep the door of communication open so he will always feel comfortable talking to us.
I am amazed that I am feeling all of this already. 1ST GRADE! He is only in 1ST GRADE! Oh the joy of being a parent. I feel as though I am entering an entirely new stage of life. I am no longer the mother of TODDLERS where I can hold their hand and guide them through every step. Now I get to be the cheerleader on the sidelines. Not that I am giving up my parental 'rights'. I do still have the FINAL SAY- thank heavens.
So here he goes... OFF TO 1ST GRADE! (trying to stay cool... he did his own hair too)
And now, until Tyler starts Kiddie Kollege on Monday... this what I find these two silly boys doing to keep themselves busy. Gotta love http://www.pbskids.com/ !
And I still have COMPLETE POWER over these two yah-whos... sort of.
6 comments:
Tater's hand on Tyler's neck is the CUTEST thing!!!!
I am feeling the same. Isn't being a mother quite the tug-o'-war with your emotions?
Tracen looks so grown up in that picture. I can't believe he is in 1st grade already. Time flies! I think it is a sign of a good parent when Tracen can be so confident. You wouldn't want it the other way around.
Oh and I love Tate's hand on Tyler's neck. That is precious!
I completely and whole heartedly agree! I told James that I think I am just so exhausted from this last week because I have been so excited for my kids and yet worried sick at the same time! This motherhood thing is nuts! :) You are doing a great job, by the way!
Suddenly I want to wrap my kids in my arms and never let them go! You are fantastic mother. Thanks for being such a great example to me.
I can't get over how grown up Tyler looks in the pic. I love his hair too, very cool. Ahh the ups and downs of motherhood! Sounds like he is going to have a great year.
ooops just realized I wrote Tyler, totally meant Tracen, sorry :)
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